Write on

I'm back in writing/directing mode after two months of teaching the world to sing. My children's history show, Quonnie: The Musical 2012, opens in less than two weeks! Once again I've written the script and lyrics myself, borrowing melodies from many different musical eras. I like writing lyrics and sometimes I'm really pleased, which makes up for the other times. "The Last Time I Saw Paris" was written by Oscar Hammerstein II and affectionately recalled the City of Light before the Nazi occupation. I used it in Quonnie: The Musical to provide a sentimental look at life in my neck of the woods back in September 1938, when Quonochontaug, RI (and the rest of New England) was devastated by a hurricane.

This year I have a couple of sweet elementary-age girls crooning the lyrics, which describe Quonnie before and after the storm: "The last time I saw Quonnie/the berries tasted sweet/the blush was on the roses red, we complained about the heat." The line I am proudest of incorporates a well known phrase: "The houses floated out to sea, the shoreline narrowed thin/our gardens drowned in ocean salt, a world gone with the wind." I meant it to refer to the song, which came out in 1937, but it could easily bring to mind the movie, which debuted in 1939. (And really, is there any better opening title sequence than this? ;)) To me it's a perfect visual image of how the hurricane affected this area.

I'm also proud of a lyric I dreamed up on the fly, Saturday night around 6pm. I was preparing to sing  "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better" from Irving Berlin's Annie Get Your Gun. The original lyrics describe Annie's rivalry with Frank Butler, but my duet partner was Ben Hutto, the esteemed director of choirs at the National Cathedral School and St. Alban's School in Washington, DC. So, I started rewriting some lyrics to reflect our roles as music director and vocal coach at the Royal School of Church Music's Newport course. I scribbled out lines and showed them to Ben for approval. Some were clunkers, but some were good: "I sing music that'r make a window shatter," "I can stick my tongue out and sometimes stick my lung out." My very favorite will only be understandable to church musicians, but they'll howl: "I can Phos Hilaron with my underwear on." He delivered it perfectly and brought down the house.

Okay, then. YOU try to rhyme Phos Hilaron, wise guy.

Teachypants

Deep Thoughts on the Summer Music Theater Camp Teaching Experience, written in Bossypants-ese. 10. Enrollment Axiom 1: If your summer theater camp has only two enrollees, both will be low-energy, gluten-sensitive tweens whose parents confused emo with interest in acting. The class will meet for six hours a day, five times a week, for a solid month. You will have to abandon your groundbreaking production of Oh, Calcutta! Jr. and endure their silent scorn as you desperately try to find something they can present at the camp showcase. With proper medication and diet, these kids can become excellent lighting designers.

9.  Enrollment Axiom 2: If you are blessed with enthusiastic, energetic actors who are eager to learn and experiment, the head count will be 56. One of the five days of camp will be a national holiday so you will be expected to cram five days of rehearsal into four. Five years from now, one of these campers will win the Tony Award for Lead Actress in Musical Theater, having never forgiven you for relegating her to the chorus this summer.

8. Whatever you encourage hesitant students to do in rehearsal will be executed at Mach Level 3 in performance.  "Move around the stage a little" will look like a human pinball. "Act sadder" will look suicidal. "Go ahead, be flirtatious" will look like Courtney Stodden.

courtney-stodden-1

7. Success stories are always inspiring. Invite professional actors to perform for your future Nellie Forbushes, and watch their little jaws drop when they see the pros go at it. It's even more fun because you can actually sightread the material the pros bring to show off their chops, which makes you feel like a bit of a pro yourself. (No snark here, that is really fun. And wow, Marvin Hamlisch still sounds good in 2012.)

6. Each day you shall hear at least two of the following: "I'm more of an actor-dancer" . . . "I'm a really low alto in school" . . . . "Can't you just transpose it down? That's what my choir teacher always does" . . . . "These pages of the song don't fit my voice, so I just leave them out" . . . "I just can't remember all the words to the song you gave me last week and the concert is in an hour, so my parents just said I should do Meadowlark again, you have the music around here, right?" Try to figure out a way to extract money from students for each utterance.

5. You will teach this lesson continually: Unless you are rendered unconscious by your own greatness, the performance isn't over when you stop singing. No, Oliver Twist, you will not lower your arms and shrug two seconds before the final chord of "Who Will Buy?" and ruin all the good work you did in the previous two minutes. We will practice it nine times until you hold those arms up for the duration of the final chords of music. The performance ends when I say it ends, mister. And it starts when you are walking onto the stage, so we're going to rehearse that too, until you stop shuffling and start walking. (Half of the campers will be so excited that they will forget to bow at all, but a few will do it perfectly and make me glad I took the time.)

4. Stop looking at me like you're drowning. I told you this performance would be memorized and you didn't believe me.

3. Just look at me if you forget the words. I will help you. You'll be okay.

2. If you are not the parent or relative of a camper, do not view any videos of summer theater camp performances. No matter how successful the showcase, if you watch it on video, you will deflate. Cherish the hazy memory. It actually went well.

1. Honor tradition. After the show is over and the kids are gone, treat yourself to mint chocolate chip ice cream. This dates back to your childhood, when your dad took you and your little sister to McDonald's for a Shamrock Shake after each piano recital, which was usually held on a cold gray Sunday afternoon in March. You didn't perform today, but you did work your butt off and it's time to celebrate. The iciness also helps to reduce the inflammation in your throat from weeks of shouting over preteens. If there is no ice cream, alcohol is an acceptable substitute. Long live theater!

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Writing with gas

For my summer vacation, I'm writing "Quonnie: The Musical 2012," teaching voice and acting classes at three different summer camps, prepping new classes for the fall in three different locations, and communing with my fellow Somatic VoiceWork voice teachers in hot, humid Virginia. I'm trying to brush the mats out of my 19 year old cat's fur. I'm ordering books for my high school freshman son. I'm cheering my daughter as she practices ice hockey. I'm also doing some weeding in the garden, growing pumpkins and radishes (I ate my own radishes yesterday!), doing some weeding, trying to grow sweet potatoes, and doing some weeding.

I haven't written much since I completed the first "Quonnie" script a year ago. I was looking forward to researching the history of my area again, and actually yes, that part is fun. But the scriptwriting has been difficult. I told myself the only way to improve on last year's show was to write my own music, in addition my own lyrics. I forgot that Elton John had Bernie Taupin, Lennon had McCartney, and even the Captain had Tennille. I was alone and adrift.

Seeing my distress, my husband asked, "Why are you trying to write a first draft perfectly?" He had described my thought process exactly. I gave up trying to control what came into my head, and as soon as I did, ideas and lyrics pushed their way into my brain and onto the page. I may still have time to write the music, but if not, there's always next year.

In the rear view mirror, all writing is easy. I wrote Bride and Flatulence three years ago and finally got a performance of it up on YouTube. I had read Austen's books, and wondered about the private lives of all the genteel men in her literary universe. I wondered what they were like when the women were off catching butterflies and planning balls. Then I stumbled onMr. Darcy Takes A Wife, an R-rated fan fiction sequel to Pride and Prejudice. The Darcys' "compleat delight" in each other, energetically expressed in several locations in and around Pemberley, resulted in the production of an heir, plus a few more progeny. Instead of exploring their most intimate pleasures, I imagined Darcy and Elizabeth's most intimate . . . embarrassments.

Mr. Darby and Miss Bennett in "Bride And Flatulence," 2010. Click on the photo to watch the whole play.

Looking at the video, I think it turned out well. I look at the video and recall happy rehearsals and sentimental thoughts. But, digging a little deeper into my memory, I also remember writing feverishly through the night before the play's due date. I emailed updated versions of scenes into the wee hours, until my future husband finally said, "Good night, and send me the rest at 6am!" I remember the first reading was at 9am and even the adrenaline could barely keep me awake. I was out of . . . gas?

Writing is like childbirth -- you forget the pain, but if you think long enough, you'll remember it. (And still be glad you did it.) And, there's no way to do it perfectly -- just get on with it, take all the help you can get, and hope for a happy ending. It usually works out.

And now, back to writing . . or teaching . . or weeding.

Romance, Romance, Romance

I'll be performing works by Schubert, Schumann and Strauss on Saturday, June 9 at 7pm, at the Westerly Public Library in Westerly, RI. Jennifer Christina Holden, piano and Lyle Hill, euphonium, are also on the bill! We're all performing Romantic favorites.

I'm so excited to share some of my favorite art songs in this lovely, recently renovated space. I just finished singing some lovely Brahms, so it was easy to stay in a Romantic German mood. Jennifer, Lyle and I have agreed to share some thoughts about each work before we perform it. . . we're in a library, after all!

Admission is free.

No, I have no idea what I'm wearing yet. Maybe something Romantic and German.

Their works do follow them

  I'm singing Brahms Requiem for the first time, with a director who is leading it for the last time.

George Kent has been the heart and soul of The Chorus of Westerly for 53 years. It is deeply moving to watch a legend as he prepares to leave behind what he's built. Mrs. Lynn Kent is part of the soprano section and she started Camp Ogontz, the Chorus' bucolic summer home. We've hugged her and cried with her all year, because we're going to be saying goodbye to her, too. At the final rehearsal, Mr. Kent was not thinking legacy; he was focused on getting the sopranos to match pitch with the strings. "We don't come here for two hours on Thursday nights so the sopranos can sing flat!" (He said that with great exasperation on May 3; I know because I wrote it down. I often write down directors' bons mots in my scores; they're fun to recall and sometimes they make more sense to me than writing fortissimo or diminuendo.)

The Brahms is Mr. Kent's favorite work, and it's quickly becoming my favorite as well. It's such a personal, intimate choral work, yet it's unbelievably majestic and grand. It is about souls experiencing great suffering and receiving blessed consolation. "Remember, this is not really a Requiem. It's an . . . ALIVE!" he said. "Just keep on concentrating, that's really what we have to do here."

After three hours of rehearsal, the chorus was exhausted. But Mr. Kent seemed to grow stronger with each hour, becoming more and more animated in his conducting and expression. He could see we were weary, so he talked to us for a bit. "The crux of it all is right here," he said, pointing to the words of the seventh and final movement, taken from Revelation: And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.

"Their works do follow them," said Mr. Kent, quietly but insistently. Suddenly understanding what was in front of us, the Chorus suddenly recharged, and then we were off, singing with expression and emotion. Mr. Kent scrunched up his bearded face in determination and delight.

Thank you, George and Lynn Kent, and Godspeed. Your works do follow you.

Bad breath(ing)

One of my students brought the Colbie Caillat song Realize to a recent lesson. She kept running out of breath before the ends of phrases, and that wasn't really like her.  

We listened to the mp3 together. Amazing! There is only ONE place to breathe in the chorus: If you just realize what I just realized/ then we'd be perfect for each other/ and will never find another/if you just realize what I just realized // (BREATHE!)// We'd never have to wonder if/we missed out on each other now

I wondered how Miss C would ever be able to manage this feat in live performance. So, my student and I checked out  Realize live, and we realized (ha!) that even Colbie herself couldn't sing the long phrases in one breath! One of her bandmates harmonizes the melody on the choruses and sings a little longer than she does, so Colbie can get a breath. If he didn't harmonize, there would be a little gap in the song and in the "rushed" mood.

Girlfriend wrote the song by herself, presumably for herself (along with Jason Reeves and Mikal Blue)! I think she was trying to make the chorus sound like a rush of words, the kind that come with the

realizationthatyoulovesomeoneandyouwantotellthemnow.

Okay, you're the artist, it's your call. The miracle of music track editing can cover up the fact you have no place to breathe in your own song. No one else can sing the song quite like Colbie . . .even she can't really sing it.

Taylor Swift likes to breathe in unexpected places, and seems to avoid breathing in the logical ones. (And Caillat has written songs for Swift; what a perfect pair of blue-lipped maidens!) Listen to her sing the chorus of Love Story: "You'll be the prince (BREATHE!) and (BREATHE!) I'll (BREATHE!) be the princess." She sounds like a four year old running up three flights of stairs to tell her friend how to play Make Believe Castle. But the ending will leave you . . . . . .uh . . . . . .breathless: RomeosavemeI'vebennfeelingsoaloneIkeep (BREATHE)

waitingforyoubutyounevercomeisthis (BREATHE!)

inmyheadIdon't know (BREATHE!)

whattothinkhekneelstothegroundandpullsoutaringandsaidmarrymeJulietyou'llneverhavetobealoneIloveyouandthat'sallIreallyknowItalkedto yourdadgopickoutawhitedressit'salovestorybabyjustsayyes.

The girl's in love! Oxygen! STAT!

Alanis Morrissette paved the way for the Bad Girl Breathers with lyrics that have been called "a mangled web of garbled syntax, overheated metaphors, and mystifying verbal contortions." She doesn't engage in the kind of melodic rushing that Caillat and Swift (and Sara Bareilles) do. Instead, she messes with beats and so-so rhymes and emPHASis. Like a Pied Piper of Lyrical Grammar, Alanis has led many astray; I still like her. My favorite song of hers is "Uninvited", from the City of Angels soundtrack. She knows when and how to breathe, even if she's not so careful about pronounCIation: Like anyone WOULD be/ I am flatTERED by your FAScination WITH me. . . .you're uninVIted, an unforTUNate slight."

So if you want to sing one of these one-breath-per-stanza songs, what do you do? 1. Slow it down, so the time between rhymes and words is slow enough for you to take some quick breaths. 2. Sing it with a group of singers, so you can all stagger your breaths. 3. Feign a dramatic emotional breakdown if you have to breathe and miss a few words. If all that fails . . . .  4. Sing something else.

Fix a flat

Many years ago I acquired an old  St. Gregory Hymnal. On the back inside cover, there's a note in a woman's handwriting. It says, "Herb, you don't open your mouth enuf! Consequently, you are flat." She wrote "flat" using the musical symbol shaped like a lower case b. I thought it was a perfect little comment. I imagined this soprano (how could she be anything else?), frustrated by his fumbling the "Gloria" again, finally snapped and fired off a note to poor Herb while Father intoned the Gospel. She couldn't take it anymore, but she was respectful of Herb's feelings. The "enuf" was her way of softening the blow.

What can you do when member of your singing group is so off key -- or sings with such tension -- that he or she destroys the blend you've worked so hard to create? I have never seen an ensemble director or group member accuse an individual singer of "sticking out," but I've heard sad stories from grown ups whose music teachers ordered them to lip sync, rather than sing. The hurt lingers. When these folks are brave enough to take voice lessons later in life, it's therapy as much as it is training.

Can anything be done to help the "stick out" singer, without hurting feelings? I've observed the following remedies and results.

1. Ignore it. It will go away. This works about once a year, and never while performing. If an obvious problem is continually ignored by a director or fellow members, listeners will question your hearing and/or your sanity. "Good grief, can't she hear how BAD that sounds?"

2. Call out the entire section. "Tenors, we are screeching on that note like cats in heat!" Sometimes the off-pitch singers get the hint and make the fix, while the rest of the section wonders what they did wrong. There are two pitfalls here: A. Well-meaning singers, singing correctly, may overcompensate and become new problems to ignore (see no. 1). B. Well-meaning singers, singing correctly, will deduce that you're not accusing them of pitch problems. They will tune out your criticism altogether, even when they really deserve it. This reduces a director to the musical equivalent of Chicken Little.

3. Change the key of the song. This can alleviate a problem in the short term, but it drives perfect-pitchers like me insane. I have been forced to transpose on sight because a couple of singers needed a lower pitch. Their problem was gone, but mine was just beginning, and I resented it.

The best way to respectfully address vocal faults is by assessing and improving vocal function. Improving the function often alleviates the problems.

Be dispassionate when someone keeps hitting a clunker. Simply note what is happening, and ask for information. "We're under the pitch at measure 17. Mackenzie and Malcolm, what do you feel happening when you sing that note? What happens in your throat before you sing that note? Singers, what can we do when our throats feel tighter on these kinds of pitches? Okay, good answers. Let's have Mackenzie and Malcolm demonstrate those last two suggestions, and then we'll all try it together."

Mackenzie was never directly accused of not hitting the note, she was simply asked to report what was happening before and during her singing. A few singers demonstrated the correct practice, and then everyone tried together. It's also fun to have everyone actually sing a melody "the wrong way" and then switch to "the right way." It's like a mini-master class, and it's quick. I know it's not always possible to do this, but when there's time and the courage to try, the results are amazing.

Yes, addressing vocal faults uses precious rehearsal time, but fixing them benefits the whole group. In the end, it saves time and results in healthier singers and better performances. Do it before you've had "enuf."

3.

Somewhere out there

My son, the world's No. 1 Rush fan, recently became a blogger. Reactions to his blog were mixed. (You can do a quick search for it at the Good Man Project's Good Feed Blog.) The feedback from his peers -- whose tastes run more to hip-hop -- was mostly negative, but that was no surprise. Readers old enough to know all the lyrics to Tom Sawyer were supportive and enthusiastic. I wish he had more support from friends in his area, but I know he will find camaraderie eventually.

The apple didn't fall far from the tree. Last year I started "Chants Occurrence," a Meetup group that I hoped would help me link up with people who liked Gregorian chant and early sacred music. It was a way for me to handle the sudden musical isolation I felt after my big move to the East in 2010. I was hoping to start a mini-schola, and maybe even bring that group to a church occasionally, because I think St. Augustine was right. But, we all live too far away from each other for that to happen anytime soon. I've had the pleasure of meeting a few of the 11 members of the group at concerts, and I'll see a couple of them at a Vespers I'm singing this weekend in Connecticut. I still hope we'll get to chant together sometime, but I feel better just knowing they're out there.

Finding my tribe has not happened the way I thought it would, but isn't that God's favorite way of answering prayer? A few weeks ago, recoiling from negative news stories, I found I had an urgent desire to save a life. I prayed to save just one life. Less than 24 hours later, I had an unexpected extra hour in my teaching schedule and out the window, I saw a red-letter opportunity. I walked into a building near my teaching studio, and gave a pint of blood.

I feel better just knowing it's out there. ;)

Music for Funerals

When I lived in Michigan, I had an informal agreement with the organist at my parish, regarding music for our own funerals: One of us would make sure that the other got really good music. We worried that our relatives, prostrate with grief, might program some lousy music. We even made a little list for each other. We did a lot of funerals together, and sometimes we would whisper, "I want THAT hymn!" or, more often, "Please make sure that song is BANNED at my funeral, ok?" On Eagles' Wings did not make the cut. And now I have stated it here on my blog, too. Take note, family! I love the Faure Pie Jesu for funerals. It's short and beautiful. But, I think for my own funeral I would rather not have a soprano soloist. I'd like to be the Star Female one last time. So . . how about The Call, by Ralph Vaughan Williams? I love choral music, too.  . . the In Paradisum from the Faure or Durufle Requiem would be lovely, but I'm practical. I know there won't be a lot of time to rehearse anything. Do the chant version of the In Paradisum and I'll be happily on my way. Do Be Not Afraid and I'll haunt you. I'm tickled at the thought of having a New Orleans Second Line, but that's hard to come by up here!

The last time I sang the Pie Jesu for a funeral, it was for a baby girl who died in her mother's womb a couple of days before she was supposed to be delivered. I had just formed a small children's choir at my parish, which included some of the girl's older siblings. The parents asked if the children would sing, and they sang God Who Touchest Earth With Beauty. It was heartbreaking, and yet also hopeful. I could feel the sadness in my own voice as I sang, but I held it together. At the request of the parents we also sang Ye Watchers And Ye Holy Ones, a great hymn looking forward to happiness with the Communion of Saints.

My dad played the organ at both of his parents' funerals, and he accompanied me as I sang Albert Hay Malotte's The Lord's Prayer. I know it brought him comfort to be able to play. He also delivered the eulogies. My mother sang at her own mother's funeral. I don't think I will be able to do anything but hold my sister's hand at that time, but we'll see. When your heart is broken, sometimes music is the only way you can bear it. If I have to sing, I'll sing.

This week my True Love and I attended a funeral at the same parish where we were married. It was a service of thanksgiving for the life of Laurie, a woman I had never met. The church was packed. The choir sang Herbert Howells' Pray For the Peace Of Jerusalem. At Communion the choir sang several short motets, including one of my favorites by Theodore DuBois, Adoramus Te Christe. (It's on my list. It's quick to learn, too.) We used to sing it at the Altar of Repose on Holy Thursday.

The final hymn was For All The Saints, and we sang all eight verses. I noticed that as I sang each verse, my voice was stronger and stronger, and I was happy to help sing this beloved woman to Heaven. The organist played a dazzling fanfare, and we began the final verse. The choir soared past all of us, with the descant reaching higher and higher. The music in the hymnal got blurry as tears came to my eyes, and I choked up so much I could no longer sing, just listen and be thankful.

The entire congregation stood as the grieving mother and children processed to the back of the church with the casket, while the organist played a triumphant postlude. A few people left the pews, but most just stood and watched. The choir was invited to recess but they remained standing in the loft, motionless. The organist kept his eyes on the music and completed the postlude, and everyone remained standing, weeping silently for the gift of the beautiful woman and the gift of the beautiful music.

Laurie was the organist's daughter. He played her to Heaven.

Laura Kent Hynes 1962-2012

Blogging by the seat of my pants

I thought my dad's advice to "never tug on Superman's cape, never spit in the wind" was brilliant and funny, and totally original. It was years before I realized he cribbed from the song, "You Don't Mess Around With Jim." My dad always added on a couple more: "Never build a house for a friend" (he's a house builder) and "there is no harm in making a profit." I don't know if Mr. Croce felt the same way.

My True Love rolls out some well-known phrases in his musical baritone, over and over again. To friends who ask how he's doing: "So far, it's a smooth crossing," or "beats being poked with the end of a sharp stick." When he wants more cooperation from the kids: "That won't butter the biscuit."

My mother, probably helping her daughters with homework one night, said "it's a law of physics" one too many times. So now my sister and I insist, to my mother's bemused exasperation, that everything can be explained as "a law of physics." This includes Civil War history, cat behavior, manic depression, and home gardening. To my knowledge this phrase has not been trademarked by Stephen Hawking or anyone else. Mom, it's all yours, congratulations!

My favorite voice guru, Jeannette LoVetri, explains vocal technique succinctly: "A larynx is a larynx is a larynx." I'd like that on a t-shirt.

I don't know what phrases or quotes are associated with me. Probably "use your abs!" or "this room won't clean itself!"

Some of my other favorite sayings:

Can't never could do nothing. (Who said this? I know my piano teacher Mrs. Norris did, she was from Arkansas. It sounds southern.)

You are flying by the seat of your pants. (also from Mrs. Norris. I was not a great student!)

You are not going to leave this house dressed like a ragamuffin. (my mother, and now me)

Practice what you preach.

There's no place like home. (thank you, Judy Garland. At the end of a long road trip, my dad would pull slowly into our long driveway, then slow to a stop and gaze lovingly at our house, only steps away. He would repeat that phrase over and over again as the rest of the tired family yelled at him to hurry up and get us into the garage. Originally from the song, "Home Sweet Home")

Two wrongs do not make a right.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

A decent interval (song)

Intervals. We know 'em when we hear 'em, right? Can you sing one when you're asked? Can you read it in music? Intervals (which lead to scales and key signatures) are some of the toughest concepts for young musicians to learn, especially singers. But, all musicians must know their intervals -- the measured distances between individual notes. Knowing intervals helps you read music faster and more accurately. Pianists can press a couple of keys, brass players can press a valve or two, and the result will usually be the same each time. Singers learn intervals by feeling the resonance in their heads and throats, while listening to the sound that come out of their mouths -- and that can mean endless variety of pitch. A tuner can help singers identify intervals before they begin to associate them with a "feeling" in their own bodies.

Music teachers always use common melodies to teach intervals; for instance, the perfect fourth interval sounds just like the beginning of "Here Comes The Bride," and the opening notes of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" comprise an octave. Other intervals are harder to quickly identify in music because  . . . they sound weird, they aren't used in music that people can recall instantly, or they're hard to sing. To the rescue, a few YouTube videos that I found helpful:

1.  "The Interval Song," a Latin-beat ditty by a British composer named Django Bates. May also make a good drinking game for college theory students. Sing it a few times and you will know it forever.

2. "Interval Song" by Anonymous. I have never heard this one before but the song and the performer are both really cute. I like any song that attempts to rhyme "octave" and "provocative."

3. "Intervals In Inversion Song," by David Newman. I'd like to hand this guy a rose for coming up with this hilarious song. I love the wonderfully sappy piano accompaniment.

4. For kinesthetic and visual learners, check out Leonard Bernstein's "Young People's Concerts," which devotes an entire hour to intervals called  "Musical Atoms." Might be interval overkill for some, but if you're at all interested, it's an hour well spent.

Do intervals really matter? Ask him.

The business of "The House Of Eliott"

Entertaining the idea of an MBA? Watch The House Of Eliott and you'll learn everything you need to know about business.

The series, which aired on the BBC in the 1990s (and is now available on YouTube), follows a pair of sisters who launch a fashion house in 1920s London. The plot twists are pure soap opera, mixed with leftover costumes from Brideshead Revisited. But the foundational story is the process of growing a business from scratch.

The sisters -- plucky, Kate Hepburn-esque Beatrice and luminous young Evangeline -- discover that their selfish father's bad business decisions have rendered them destitute, while their sheltered upbringing has left them unable to find work. Talented at sewing and little else, the sisters began to turn their deceased father's expensive old clothes into fashions for themselves. The naturally organized Beatrice finds work as a photographer's assistant, a few society ladies see their creations . . . and the House of Eliott is born.

As the opportunities grow, so do the challenges. They hire additional help to keep up with demand. They debate closing the doors to become designers at a Paris fashion house (they decline, and then Evangeline has an affair with the boss). Beatrice and the photographer fall madly in love.

Successful but cash-poor, The House of Eliott is under constant stress. Beatrice and Evangeline negotiate loans with condescending bankers who steal from them. Their workers fight. Their first ready-to-wear line is undermined by cheap copies. The photographer, who becomes a filmmaker, is elected to Parliament. The Great Depression begins to affect sales. Even though both sisters marry and Beatrice becomes a mother, the House of Elliott remains their most precious creation.

Like Beatrice, I'm a mom in a creative profession, married to a dashing photographer! We're working and learning about growing a business together -- his photography and printing, and my voice studio. We've already faced some of the same challenges the sisters faced, and we've also enjoyed some of the same happiness when things actually go right. (I also have a beautiful younger sister, but she's an RN and wears scrubs.) The House of Eliott is a great way to unwind after a long day at the home office. Yes, there are other shows about family businesses, but they don't have such fabulous gowns.

Intrigued? Here's another British-accented actress dispensing business advice. ;)

A little Handel for your holiday

Merry Christmas! Margaret Tyler, mezzo soprano and Eden Casteel, soprano singing "He Shall Feed His Flock/Come Unto Him" from Handel's Messiah. Directed by Joseph Ripka, with Josh Stafford on the organ. Recorded live, Sunday December 18, 2011 at Calvary Church, Stonington CT.

Goodbye 2011, hello 2012

A few of my favorite memories of 2011: Taking a vacation to Provincetown MA, and meeting up with my extended family at the Grand Canyon in honor of my Aunt Lee's 80th birthday. 

Teaching students, and learning more about the art and science of singing. You all enrich my life.

Joining The Chorus of Westerly. I'm honored to be part of this community of high-quality choral music makers! Thank you, George Kent and Chorus, for just being you. (Mr. Kent is retiring in 2012, a mere 53 years after he founded the chorus. Godspeed!)

Having my little girl ask me to braid her hair.

Writing, producing and directing Quonnie: The Musical! And releasing it on DVD and in songbook form!

Having my son play DJ in the car with his iPod. Even when I don't like it, I like it.

I'm so blessed to love and be loved by these three people -- one tall, one medium, one short.

What's coming up in 2012:

In May, I'm teaching a week of master classes at my old stomping grounds, Dublin Coffman High School in Dublin OH.

I'm going to cheer for my husband in his second NYC marathon. I'll run some kind of race, but probably not a marathon.

I expect to continue to practice important life skills I learned from Kenny Rogers.

Quonnie: The Musical gets an encore production in August. I'm going to tweak several scenes.

I really hope this is the year I sell my house in Michigan.

I'll be singing more, teaching more, creating more. . . living and loving more! I wish the same for you. Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy 2012. XO EC

Ought-To-Tune

This gentleman is flat. Can you tell? Now that I've removed my fingernails from the ceiling, let's talk about flatness. We all do it sometimes. Singing under the correct pitch can be caused by singing notes that are out of one's natural range, insufficient breath support, or mismatched vowels. Try this: Sing or speak a bright "ee" sound, very nasally, in the front of your mouth. Now, sing or speak the same "ee" in the back of your throat. The pitch goes down, doesn't it? Try it in reverse: Think of singing "Somewhere, over the rainbow." Sing the "some" in the very back of your throat, then try to vault up to "where." It's eight notes away, but unless you really know where you're heading, you probably feel very insecure finding that high note. People who sing flat fail to quickly adjust to changes in vowels and changes in pitches, or they fail to maintain adequate air flow while they sing. They don't hear it or feel it, so they don't fix it.

Can you fix flatness? Yes! First, hear it: Record yourself singing and then listen to the results. Most people dislike hearing the sound of their own voice, but try to be detached about it, and just listen for pitch accuracy (or ask a friend to listen, and be honest with you). Do you have trouble matching pitch on the highest notes, on the descending lines, or ascending lines? Then, think about what's going on when you're flat. Which words or syllables tend to make you sound flat? What's happening in your mouth and throat when flatness occurs? Do you feel sensations in your throat such as squeezing, stretching, tightening, grimacing? What are your abdominal muscles doing (or not doing) when flatness happens?

Now that you are aware of your particular recipe for flatness, bring in the technology. I love my Sabine MetroTune 9000 tuner (about $29.95 on Amazon.com) for its awesome, Harry Potter-esque name and model number but also for its ability to show singers exactly which pitch they are singing. Even though I have perfect pitch, I'm not infallible -- I need help hearing sharp and flat pitches, too. When the tuner tells me I'm singing a flat note or series of notes, I adjust my mouth shape and reinforce my breath support, and sometimes I'll draw an "up" arrow over the pitch in my music to remember to make those modifications every time I sing. Like many people I have a tendency to go flat on descending lines (think of the beginning of "Joy To The World"), so I slightly adjust each pitch as I head down -- I might open my mouth or slightly brighten the vowel. It's amazing how just a slight change can make all the difference.

There is computer software to test and train the flatness out of your voice as well: The Pitch Perfector can do this in the privacy of your own home, for only $67. If you like sitting in front of a desktop computer, this is probably a good option.

For flat-fighting on the go, use a smartphone app. I just purchased ClearTune for $3.95 and don't know how I managed without it. It's a little slower than the Sabine, but it gets the job done. Last week I used it to reinforce intervals with a children's theory class. Several kids were absolutely certain they were singing a fourth interval (think "Here Comes The Bride") when in fact they were singing sharp thirds and very flat fourths. I held up the tuner, and they realized how far off they were. Immediately they increased their breath support and sang a brighter tone to achieve the correct pitch. The tuner will save us hours of practice time, because we'll know instantly if we're singing on pitch.

When you're a world famous singer, you can use Auto-Tune to cover all your pitchy sins. But it's cheaper and better to fight flatness with healthy vocal technique -- just tell 'em you're using "Ought-To-Tune."

I wasn't aware of Jay-Z's hilarious "D.O.A. (Death Of Auto-Tune)" until recently, but I think he's right -- it's overused. (Maybe by his wife, too?) So, get a tuner and practice basic vocal technique, and you'll never sing flat again. Unless you want to end up on YouTube. . . . I like it when she takes out her gum . . . .

All Saints and All Souls

Time for the saints to march in! What wonderful music we have for All Saints' Day and All Souls'. Who doesn't love For All The Saints, Ye Watchers And Ye Holy Ones, the wonderful Litany? When I was a music teacher at St. Michael School in Annandale VA, dear Sister Renee wrote a saints' play for the Second Graders, and I used to read an illustrated, book version of "I Sing A Song Of The Saints Of God" to the kids as they learned the song to perform along with her play. The lyrics, by the wonderfully named Lesbia Scott, are colorful and engaging: "I sing a song of the saints of God, patient and brave and true/who toiled and fought and lived and died for the Lord they loved and knew/And one was a doctor, and one was a Queen and one was a shepherdess on the green/they were all of them saints of God, and I mean God helping, to be one too." Verse two lists that "one was a soldier and one was a priest/and one was slain by a fierce wild beast." Awesome!!

Gabriel Faure's Requiem is sometimes heard on (or around) All Souls' Day, right after All Saints'. It's a beautiful way to remember and honor our loved ones. Trinity Episcopal Church's choir in Newport, directed by my friend Brent Erstad, performed the work last weekend. Faure actually joked that he composed the work "for fun" but it was inspired by the loss of some of his family. It's short and quite  .  . . sweet, especially the Sanctus and the In Paradisum. I managed to wrangle a volunteer choir together to sing the Offertoire once  at St. Anthony - it was worth it! Faure is always worth it.

Most recently I sang the Faure Requiem on September 11 with a small volunteer singing group in Stonington, CT, headed by Dara Blackstone and accompanied by my friend Kim Lewis. Here's my performance of the "Pie Jesu".

Rest in peace, all the faithful departed. May perpetual light shine upon them. PH, EJ, LG.

Every word, a pearl

Every voice teacher uses imagery and metaphor to teach basic vocal concepts. We have to do this because many small, functional parts of the voice are hidden from sight and touch, and we have to help our students feel their way around. All the little unseen parts work together to make a voice, so teachers tend to talk in colorful terms about the coordinated actions of these muscle groups. It's like telling someone to "run like you are on top of hot coals" instead of telling her to quickly move your right foot and knee forward at an angle, put it down, and then move your left foot and knee. To save time and earn a reputation for fanciful and entertaining lessons, a teacher will not order a sophomore soprano to rotate her posterior cricoarytenoid cartilages to close her vocal folds and contract her rectus abdominus muscles to produce a clear strong tone. Instead she will be urged to imagine your thumb is being nailed by a hammer and say, "Ow!"

Each teacher likes her own set of images, and they inspire mystery and awe in students. "She's awesome -- she told me to sing into my hips!" "So I'm like, 'yawning' into the sound now." Imagery can help an unskilled teacher cover her tracks, but it's no substitute for solid pedagogy.

Sometimes the imagery gets in the way. I remember my dear college teacher's exhortation to relax my tense muscles in the back of my mouth -- or, as she put it,  "keep your throat so open that I could take this box of Kleenex and send it down your throat, and it would never touch." Exactly how was I supposed to stretch my throat to the width of an air conditioning shaft? I was far more interested in imagining the sound and feel of a tissue box banging around my metallic throat than actually trying to do it -- whatever "it" was.

The wonderful teacher Jeannette LoVetri insists that teachers should use clear scientific explanations in vocal pedagogy. "Telling you to move your larynx is as bad, albeit in a different manner, as telling you to vibrate your forehead or send the sound across the room. Useless information that just makes it harder, not easier, to sing," she writes on her blog. She's right. Imagery is a way to call attention to what's happening or what's requested, but it should always be paired with an appropriate scientific explanation.

So, if you're a voice student and you've been wondering what your teacher is talking about, here is a friendly little translation guide: "Inhale the rose" means close your mouth, breathe through your nostrils, and release your tongue. "Throw up into the sound" means lower your tongue and sing a vowel from the back of your throat. "Squeeze your Kegels" means activate your lower abdominal muscles. "Raise your eyebrows to sing that high note" means don't be flat. "Sing into the mask" = sing with a little nasality. "Sip the air through a straw" -- don't gulp when you inhale. "Push out your guts" = not a clue. "Imagine you are a unicorn and the sound is coming out of your horn" = what?! "Imagine you are a marionette and the sound is like a string being pulled at the top of your head" = okay, take your meds.

Of course, all of my images work brilliantly. I routinely tell my students to "make whale sounds", which means to slide smoothly from one vowel to another in a random pattern to help the throat and tongue free of tension. I told a group of young choir students to "imagine they were flying squirrels" by jumping into the air with arms and legs outstretched, landing in a kind of karate-ready position, all because I wanted them to activate their abdominal muscles and not just stand there listlessly. I remind singers that "breath is like manna -- take only what you need for the phrase", because I don't want them to breathe too early and hold the breath, or too late and not have enough. I can also tell who's read their Old Testament when I use this imagery. ;) I do try to make sure I give an age-appropriate scientific explanation right along with the imagery.

Yesterday, I came up with a doozy! "Your voice sounds like peanut butter smooshed onto bread, and I want it to sound like jellied cranberry sauce." Translation: You are making a nice legato line here, but your vocal tract is small and flattened out because your tongue is up, and consequently your sound is muffled and soft. Keep your palate raised so your tract assumes a rounded, cylindrical shape -- which will help you resonate better and then we will hear a nicer sound.

I was hungry, so I went for the food imagery. Peanut butter is smooth but flat. The only cylindrical food I could think of was jellied cranberry sauce. Even though he didn't like cranberry sauce, the student understood.

Same time next week? Don't forget to nail your thumb with a hammer!

Ruminations on Adele's "Deep" lyrics, disabled larynx

There is a large sorority of popular singers who sound like they're suffering from bad allergies: Those sexy gals with low, raspy voices who yawn into the microphone and sound pinched when they sing a rare high note.

I'm talking about Norah Jones, Adele, Dido, Corinne Bailey Rae, Colbie Caillat, Sade, and the dear departed Amy Winehouse. It's thrilling to hear a singer performing the vocal equivalent of walking a tightrope -- will she hit that note or will she fall off? However, I spend a lot of my professional time trying to keep young singers from dwelling too long in this style. It's not healthy.

Adele, the 21-year old British chanteuse who sounds like Dusty Springfield's illegitimate daughter, recently canceled her U.S. tour due to a vocal hemhorrhage. In fact, this was her second major vocal crisis in a year. Adele's grainy, uneven vocal tone, exacerbated by smoking and the demands of touring, is not sustainable. I gather they've told her to go to vocal rehab and thankfully she has not said "no, no, no."

I have to admit I'm drawn to song of hers. Rolling In the Deep is an almost-great song and fun to hear. However, the  lyrics, co-written by Adele and Paul Ellworth, don't match the strong melody and performance. Every time I hear this song I think, "Almost!" I like the chorus the best --  a great match of words and music: You had my heart inside your hands/and you played it to the beat. Until I read the lyrics I thought she was singing You had my heart and soul in your hands, and I like that image and soul rhymes slightly better with the beginning of the chorus, We could have had it all -- even if technically having two items in a jerk's hands (one's heart and soul) would therefore demand changing played it to played them to the beat. I know . . . nitpicking.

Verse One: Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark -- did they forget the "of" as in "out of the dark," or was that intentional? Or does she mean she's bringing out the darkness of her mood? I can't figure it out. And why did she repeat these opening lyrics at the end of the first verse? She didn't do it on any other verses. Finally I can see you crystal clear/Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your sh-t bare. Sell out? What the heck happened, Adele? I'm confused! And, why use a scatological word in the first verse? To a 21 year old it might not be a swear word, but really, girl, once you go blue here's nowhere left to go, just ask Cee-Lo Green. And can we rhyme clear with something else? How about extending the whole fire metaphor: Smoke and cinders fill my eyes with tears /Burn up the past but it won't help me forget the years. I know, it's not great -- but neither is yours.

Bridge to the Chorus: The scars of your love remind me of us  . . . they leave me breathless. Wow, those must be some scars if they interfere with your ability to breathe. Diagnosis: Love Pneumonia.

Musically, I am puzzled by Adele's "rolling in the deep" on the highest notes in her head voice range. She sings "deep" on the C above middle C. It's an odd juxtaposition of that good melody and that good lyric. Maybe only picky voice teachers find it odd.

Verse two: Baby, I have no story to be told/but I've heard the one on you and I'm gonna make your head burn. I understand she's trying to connect the fire images from verse one and also keep the tone angry, but it's a weak link. Told and burn do not rhyme. Eminem manages to rhyme when he's ticked off, why not you, Adele?

What about Baby, I have no story to be told, but I've read the book on you and now your head will roll. What's wrong with that? Makes me think of Henry VIII! Or, I heard it all from her, it's seared into my soul. Why not confirm that there was another woman? That would be justifiable, rhyming anger.

Verse three: Throw your soul through every open door. Who's doing the throwing, Adele or the jerk? Each scenario is plausible. But, the whole stanza is a jarring mix of images: Soul-throwing, then counting blessings, then sorrows becoming golden, then reaping what you sow (my favorite of the four). All of the lines end in half-rhymes or oblique rhymes.

For those seeking an advanced degree in Adele Lyrical Studies: Please figure out whether these rhyme schemes were intentional. As for me, I'll continue to enjoy deconstructing and rewriting Rolling In The Deep every time I hear it. Adele, during your vocal rest I know you'll be writing songs. Just be sure to have a thesaurus and a rhyming dictionary next to your Throat Coat tea. Or, call me up! ;)

Can't wait to hear what you do next.

Singer needs massage.

Busy, busy, busy!

This fall I am teaching voice lessons in four locations around Rhode Island: Salve Regina University in Newport, Jacqueline M. Walsh School for Performing Arts in Pawtucket, Rhode Island Philharmonic Music School in East Providence, and St. Luke Episcopal Church in East Greenwich. I also teach a few students voice and piano at my home in Charlestown. I am teaching six days a week at the moment. Looks like Sunday will be my Sabbath rest, at least for the next month or two, and that's good!

I'm also subbing as a cantor and organist when asked, and I'm in the middle of singing my first High Holy Days with Temple Beth-El in Providence. Some of the members of the eight-voice choir have been participating for decades, and I'm honored to be with them. It requires every bit of focus I have to sight-sing 30 to 40 choral works in phonetic Hebrew  (sometimes transposed!) for three hours at a stretch -- and that's just rehearsal! I have learned that I need to rest and eat more before the services; when I'm hungry and tired, I miss entrances. I am in awe of Cantor Judy Seplowin, who will be singing her heart out for ten hours on Yom Kippur while observing the fast. The choir is 95% Gentile, so we're sneaking out for lunch! Apparently it's tradition.

I spotted some of my fellow choir members at a stunning performance of the Bach B Minor Mass last Friday in Providence . . . the Ecclesia Consort draws (and deserves) that kind of support. I brought along a score and happily read along, even though they had tuned down about half a step (which tends to throw off a gal with perfect pitch).

Does all this singing and teaching leave me tired? Absolutely. Would I appreciate a three hour long massage if I could ever find three hours in a row? Sure. Do I want to stop any of it? No way! It's too much fun!

I was talking with my True Love about this. I was telling him about the retired lady student who had lived and worked near the same places I lived and worked -- and who sang Puccini to relax; the road-tripping student whose grandkids are in my daughter's class -- who got rid of some vocal tension; the student whose part time jobs matched my sister's part time jobs at the same age -- and was learning how to make a rounded "oo"; the smart, shy high schooler who was becoming aware of her talent as well as her technique -- and getting compliments from her choir teacher for the very first time. And that was just Monday!

Music enriches my life -- by deepening my prayers in a house of worship (even if I don't completely understand them); by bringing satisfaction and joy as I hear my fellow musicians at the top of their game; and by giving me a way to meet students, who often become great friends. I'm grateful for those who taught me music, and grateful for those who I teach now.

(But yeah, I really would like the three-hour massage. On a Sunday.)

What I remember

I missed it all. I got my son and his friend to school but I had turned the radio off. I hid out in my classroom prepping madly before the five year olds came in for music class. When the kindergarten teacher collected her students, she quietly told me all the awful things that had happened. We knew that we were probably not in imminent danger -- classes went on, the electricity was working, there was no airport near us. But the world had changed. Every church in town had a prayer service that night. At Mass, I wanted to sing The Battle Hymn Of The Republic, but we got On Eagle's Wings instead, which made me angry. I wanted St. Michael The Archangel and was dissatisfied with the Paraclete.

The next morning the sky was empty and quiet. My 3 year old son told his preschool teacher, "The tower got an owie." A friend emailed that her cousin was missing from Cantor Fitzgerald, would everyone please pray for him. Some veterans from the Greatest Generation were visiting the school that morning, after speaking at the college up the hill. We found out that one of the veterans had lost his son and brand new daughter-in-law on the flight that crashed into the Pentagon. The young couple was flying off to their honeymoon. The college was arranging to drive the man home; we didn't see him. The choir performed "America The Beautiful" for the veterans. We had always planned to sing all four verses. It seemed slightly excessive the day before and absolutely necessary the day after. They sang it beautifully and reverently. I wanted it to go well, and it did.

We watched the Tribute To Heroes telethon a week later and I liked Billy Joel and Tom Petty the best. We watched The Who bring catharsis to all the surviving first responders at the The Concert For New York City. God Bless The U.S.A., God Bless America, and Imagine played in endless rotation. Samuel Barber's Adagio For Strings was . . . even sadder.

On September 11 I'll be singing, too, and I'll remember.